I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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