dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
