Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize