I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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