I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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