I wish I could teleport
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
