3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
