watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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