I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I party with great urgency now.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
