if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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