ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
