i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
