so that wasnt chicken after all
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
