Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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