What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
