It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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