pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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