It's like a parade of train wrecks.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
