Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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