i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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