mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize