you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
