The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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