Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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