how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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