I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
