whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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