I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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