super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
