I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
