he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize