Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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