Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
