I wish I could punch you in the face.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
