His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
