Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Randomize
