dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
