what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize