i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Randomize
