Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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