Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Shame - the story of my life.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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