he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
