mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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