Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
