We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
