You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
