Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
