oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
4 words: hood of his car
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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