I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
