if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
