He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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