Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize