I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
