it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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