remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
