i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I can't turn off my feet"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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